Oh Gran! Read online

“That way!” she said decisively.

  Emily shrugged her shoulders. That way was probably as good as any. Gran strode along confidently. Emily hurried after her, conscious of the darkening skies and the chilly bite in the air. She hoped this was the way home.

  Suddenly Gran stopped.

  “What is it? Are we lost again”?” gasped Emily.

  “Just need to check the route,” Gran informed her and squatted down again to press her ear to the ground. Emily hovered anxiously. Gran slowly stood up.

  “Are we OK?” demanded Emily.

  “We’re OK,” nodded Gran. “We’d just begun to go slightly off course. This way!”

  Once again Gran marched off, with Emily close behind. Emily wasn’t sure but she thought she recognised a few features. Hadn’t they seen a big rock like that one, shaped like a lion’s head, at the start? And that clump of seven spindly trees on the top of the hill looked familiar, didn’t it?

  They rounded the crest of another hill, and Emily sighed with relief. There, glinting in the dim light of the afternoon, was Gran’s bike!

  “Oh, Gran! “ she cried, giving her grandma a big hug. “You got us back! You’re brilliant. l thought we were lost for ever! But how did you do it? What did you hear when you listened to the ground?”

  Gran looked guilty.

  “Actually, Em dear, I couldn’t hear a thing!” she confessed. “I’ve never been able to, not even in Australia when my friend was trying to teach me to listen to the earth’s vibrations. But I thought it was worth a try. And as it happens, while I was trying to listen today, I caught sight of some pumpkin seeds!”

  “What do you mean”?” asked Emily.

  “I mean,” Gran went on, “I could see your pumpkin seeds, the ones you gave me that I, um, didn’t eat!”

  Emily’s mouth dropped open.

  “You see, Em, I’m afraid I thought those pumpkin seeds of yours tasted disgusting! I’m sorry, my love. But I didn’t like to disappoint you when you were trying so hard to make me eat something that’s good for me. So I pretended to eat them as we went along and dropped them on the ground instead. I got us home by following the trail I’d left! Luckily the birds hadn’t found the seeds and eaten them. Or perhaps they’re like me, and prefer muffins!”

  Gran grinned as she said that. Emily didn’t know whether to be cross or grateful to Gran for throwing all those pumpkin seeds away. She was also a bit miffed at being tricked by Gran over the ear-to-the-ground business. She’d really thought Gran had ‘listened’ their way back home. Then she saw the funny side, and started to chuckle.

  “Oh, Gran, you really fooled me,” she admitted.

  “Yes, I did, didn’t I!” agreed Gran, and they both laughed. “OK, who fancies a burger?”

  Chapter 8 Swimming Pool Surprise

  It was Sunday morning and time for breakfast.

  “Come on, Em, I’m starving,” called Gran.

  Emily was getting dressed. They were about to set off for Burger Kingdom. Then Gran thought of something. “Is there a swimming pool in town?”

  “Yes, it’s a brand new one. It’s huge and it’s even got a diving pool. Can we go?”

  “Sure, why not?” Gran smiled at Emily’s enthusiasm. “Go and grab your swimming things, love, and I’ll fetch mine. We’ll have a quick splash before breakfast.”

  “Yippee!” shouted Emily.

  When they got to the pool they found a notice pinned to the door: Pool closed for diving competition, 9.15 to 11.00am. Entrants to register at reception desk before 9.00am.

  Emily was really disappointed.

  “Diving competition, eh? Registration closes in ...” Gran looked at her watch. “Streuth! In two minutes’ time. We’ve got to run, Em.”

  Gran grabbed Emily’s arm and hurried her inside.

  “But Gran, I don’t know how to dive properly,” protested Emily, thinking Gran wanted to enter her in the competition.

  “No, but I do,” panted Gran, jogging up to the registration desk. The man there was starting to tidy up his things and was almost ready to go.

  “Hold it right there!” called Gran. “One more entrant for the competition here!”

  The man sat back down again. “Oh good!” he exclaimed. “And what’s your name, young lady?” he asked, looking at Emily.

  “She's not entering,” snapped Gran. “l am!”

  “Um, are you sure?” asked the man anxiously. “Our other entrants are, well, all quite young.”

  “Is there an upper age limit?” demanded Gran, fixing him with a steely stare.

  “No, of course not,” he admitted, looking uncomfortable.

  “Good. Now, here’s my entry fee. Please enter me. My name’s Edith Bouts.”

  The man dutifully noted the name with Gran breathing down his neck.

  “There we are!” he smiled wanly. “Please be at the pool by 9.15. I’m afraid you’ve missed the warm-up session.”

  “I didn’t know you could dive, Gran!” exclaimed Emily.

  “There’s a lot about your old grandma that you don’t know,” chuckled Gran. “Now, where do I get changed, Em?”

  “Over here, Gran.” Emily led her into the ladies’ changing area. Gran popped into a cubicle. It was a good job Emily saw her going in, because otherwise she would never have recognised the person who came out, not in a million years! This person was wearing a vibrant emerald Aquablade swimsuit that came down to her knees, a matching cap and fluorescent green goggles. And for someone who lived on chips, chips and more chips, Gran was in remarkably good shape.

  “Oh Gran, you look amazing!” gasped Emily. “Just like an Olympic medallist.”

  “Thank you,” blushed Gran. “That’s the biggest compliment you could ever pay me. Right then, let’s get diving!”

  The competition began a few minutes later. One by one the divers climbed to the top board and dived gracefully into the deep pool below. They were all very good and everyone clapped like mad. Then suddenly it was Gran’s turn.

  “Now a late entry, Edith Bouts,” called the announcer.

  Gran stood on the top board and waved to the crowd with a flourish. Then she walked confidently to the end and turned round ready to do a backwards dive. No one had done a backwards dive yet. Emily sat and held her breath. She hardly dared look as Gran tensed her body and then flung herself backwards into the air. She did at least two somersaults and a sort of twizzly thing before disappearing into the smooth surface of the diving pool, hardly making a splash.

  The spectators around Emily erupted into a frenzy of cheers. Gran climbed out of the pool looking very pleased with herself.

  “That was terrific, Gran!” said Emily as Gran came over with her towel.

  “I was slightly off vertical when I hit the water,” sighed Gran. “I'm a bit rusty.”

  Emily looked at her in admiration. “Oh Gran, you were fantastic and mega and brill and incredible and ... and ...”

  She was lost for words!

  “Thank you, Em,” smiled Gran. “I hope the judges agree.”

  They did. She was the winner by a clear five points. There was thunderous applause as she went up to receive the trophy followed by a great gasp as she peeled off her cap and goggles and everyone realised that she was an elderly lady!

  “Oh Gran,” chuckled Emily. “You’re a real winner!”

  Chapter 9 News Time Again

  It was Monday morning and start-of-the-week news time. Frank Feeney was telling a rather boring story about what had happened to him over the weekend. Emily wasn’t listening.

  “Thank you, Frank,” said Mrs Crowley. “Now, Emily! How did you get on with your granny? Come and tell us!”

  Emily stood up in front of her class.

  “On Friday we went for a motorbike ride and Gran got stopped for speeding. Then on Saturday we got lost going for a walk but Gran got us back by listening to the ground like Aborigines do!” (Emily decided not to mention the pumpkin seeds.) “On Sunday Gran won a diving championship.
And we ate every meal at Burger Kingdom.”

  Emily looked at her friends in triumph. They were all staring back at her with a mixture of total amazement and envy. Even Mrs Crowley looked astonished.

  Oh Gran! thought Emily proudly. It’s brilliant having the coolest Gran around.

  A note from the author

  I hope you enjoyed this story and it made you smile!

  I’ve always loved writing. I wrote my first stories when I was about 7, all about Apple and Carrot! English was my favourite subject at school and I went on to study it at Oxford University. I did a postgrad degree in Publishing Studies and Stirling University and then began working as a desk editor. I took a few years out to be an accountant, but when we moved to Ireland from England in 1992, I set myself up as a freelance editor and indexer, and I’ve been doing that ever since. I’m married to Chris, have three children - Benjamin, Caitlin and Ruadhri - and since 2006 we’ve all lived in France on a 75 acre farm. We run a gite and carp and farm llamas, and also edit ebooks.

  My first books were published in 1996. I have around 30 to my name now and I’m moving into adult fiction and non-fiction, as well as carrying on writing for children and young adults.

  Follow my blog about our life as expats, which is never dull, at https://www.bloginfrance.com and find out about my other books at https://www.booksarecool.com. Follow me on Twitter too: https://www.twitter.com/@booksarecool23